Fork in the Road

Finally! A Diagnosis!

2011-03-29T12:24:00.001-04:00

After many tests -- process of elimination -- my doctors believe I probably have a bad and unusual case of pleurisy, which is a severe inflammation of the lining of the lungs. That has what has caused the stabbing pain when taking deep breaths and moving around. And why I've been so tired. The lower lobes of my lungs have collapsed as well, but will come back to normal when I can breath without pain and move around more.

This illness is directly a result of my double bronchitis from a few weeks ago year and not "taking it easy" long enough through the recovery. I have prescription antiflamatories to take for the next few weeks and have been told to rest and recoup -- that should be all it takes to recover fully. This time I'll try to be a better patient!

It's Fat Tuesday! Time for Pancakes!

2011-03-08T08:55:00.001-05:00

Today is Fat Tuesday -- also known as Mardi Gras, Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day. It is the day preceeding Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent, when many rich foods are given up by Christians around the world. Pancakes are associated with this day because they are a way to use up rich foodstuffs such as eggs, milk, and sugar, before the fasting season of the 40 days of Lent.

While pancakes can be rich, they can also be packed packed with nutrition and taste great, too! I worked on this recipe for months, getting it just right. The combination of wheat flour and cornmeal is the secret!

¾ cup unbleached flour
¼ cup cornmeal
½ tablespoon ground flax seed
2 teaspoons non-aluminum baking powder
1/8 teaspoon sea salt
1 cup soymilk
1 tablespoon expeller-pressed canola oil
1 tablespoon pure maple syrup

1. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, cornmeal, flax seed, baking powder and sea salt.

2. Add soymilk, canola oil and maple syrup. Mix until just combined.

3. Lightly spray a large skillet with cooking oil and warm over medium-high heat.

4. Measure about 1/3 cup of batter onto the hot skillet. Flip pancake when bubbles appear and burst on the upper surface, about 2 minutes. Cook for another 2 minutes or until set.

5. Serve immediately with warm maple syrup and butter.

I Can't Catch a Break

2011-03-04T13:38:00.000-05:00

After my prolonged bout with bronchitis, I woke up with an aching stomach. Soon it morphed into real abdominal pain. I pushed through it last week but finally caved in and went to the doctor yesterday.

Turns out that the medicines I took to recover from bronchitis may have damaged my stomach, kidneys and/or live. Or I may have an overgrowth of "bad" bacteria in my gut, after the good guys were probably killed off by the massive antibiotics. Three giant vials of blood were drawn and now we wait to hear the results.

Meanwhile, I've been told to "take it easy" and eat a bland diet -- which is basically all I feel like doing right now anyway. I'm not hungry and I can't even walk a mile without doubling over in pain. How will I ever be ready for the half-marathon in two months?!

Still Not Dead

2011-03-02T12:10:00.002-05:00

I got wholloped by this illness. Two rounds of bronchitis and then a stomach bug. Ugh!

Blogging will resume tomorrow with some fun updates and news.

Thanks for hanging in there with me!

I'm Not Dead Yet

2011-02-13T16:23:00.001-05:00

Turns out that recovering from bronchitis is no easy thing. I had finished all my antibiotics and steroids and was still coughing. Then my energy waned. And then I felt really bad -- again. So I went back to the doctor last Wednesday and was diagnosed with a bronchitis relapse. I got a vitamin B12 shot to boost my immunity and prescriptions for 10 more days of antibiotics and 12 more days of steroids.

I have to admit, I left the doctor's office feeling defeated. I started to wonder if I would ever be able to get back to the gym. I considered was lost days meant to my half-marathon training plan. But most of all, I realized that I needed to make some big changes. I'm not willing to be sick so often, to have fatty liver disease and high-blood pressure and a host of other ailments.

Change is coming -- and I think better health will follow.

Knowing When Enough is Enough

2011-02-03T09:07:00.000-05:00

I have a hard time knowing when enough is enough when it comes to food. I often eat past the point of being full, which is no surprise since I'm morbidly obese. But recently I've been thinking about why this happens and how to curb it.

I've wondered if I couldn't stop eating because of genes, a troubled childhood or cultural influences. (Certainly there is something to blame besides myself!) Maybe the "off-switch" in my brain is broken?

After meditating on this issue (and a good discussion with my friend M.B.), I've decided that the issue really is about trust -- or my lack of it. I don't trust my stomach and brain to know when I am full. And, I don't trust that God gave my body the tools to make that decision. Instead, I've learned to trust external sources (i.e. diets) to provide that information. Despite the fact that diets don't work, I still trust them -- and am constantly seeking the perfect one that will relieve me from having to learn to trust myself and my perfectly designed body.

Whoa. It's been a major revelation for me. And I'm excited, too, to try to listen to my body and see where it takes me. I'll let you know how the journey goes!

Coming Back Slowly

2011-02-02T08:45:00.000-05:00

I'm still recovering from my prolonged illness with bronchitis. I haven't been this sick in a long time. Mostly, I stayed in bed (literally!), slept and ate toast with tea. Not a very fun way to pass a week.

Last night, after a nap, I went to the gym for my first work out with my trainer since I got sick. It was frustrating to have to work out so slowly in between coughing fits. It was disheartening to discover how weak I still was.

But Tracy the Trainer spelled it out for me: this is a lifestyle. You will get sick. You will get injured. The important thing is to stay focused and return to exercise in a way that is sustainable. There is no end goal. Exercise itself -- no matter how easy or hard -- is the goal.

What perspective! And a valuable lesson I desperately needed to hear.

Super Simple

2011-01-27T10:55:00.000-05:00

Sometimes simple really is best.

I haven't felt like eating or drinking much of anything for days. And now I'm on big meds to wipe out the bronchitis, which are doing a number on my digestive system. Food isn't a priority right now, but I know I need to eat to heal.

Time for a smoothie. A super simple smoothie that tastes great. My go-to recipe is 1 cup of Silk dark chocolate almond milk and one frozen banana pureed in a blender. It tastes like a thick milk shake, is packed with nutrition, slides down a sore throat perfectly -- all for about 200 calories.

Try it. I know you'll love it.

Bronchitis

2011-01-25T17:19:00.000-05:00

Last Friday I started coughing. Today I learned I have full-blown bronchitis. So it's a week of antibiotics and steroids and a little less blogging. But I'll be back soon, I promise!

Friday Funny

2011-01-21T11:39:00.003-05:00

Facing the Truth

2011-01-18T08:42:00.000-05:00

I went to my family doctor on Friday for a regular check-up. I went in feeling great, having lost 10 pounds and gotten into the habit of exercise six days per week. I left feeling upset and defeated because I was made to face the truth.

For a seriously overweight person, I've been blessed to remain fairly healthy. However, in the past year, my years of food abuse have caught up with me. Health problems have started cropping up. And that became even more sharply focused on Friday. After going over the results of some blood work, the doctor announced that I have fatty liver disease. My liver (and probably other organs) are so packed with fat that they are no longer functioning at their normal level. It's putting a tremendous strain on my body.

And, for the first time in my life, a high number showed up when my blood pressure was taken. Uh oh.

It was a lot to take in. And made me feel tremendously sad for what I had done to myself. But, I was also glad to have the information before it was too late. Both fatty liver disease and pre-hypertension are revesible and I'm track to make that happen.

So take a lesson from me: if you've been putting off going to the doctor because you are overweight, make an appointment today and go. The life you save may be your own. It's time to face the truth.

Ditching Diets

2011-01-14T10:35:00.000-05:00

I'm finding out that giving up dieting isn't easy, especially since I've been doing it since the age of 12.

I remember that first diet the summer I was 12 years old. My mother bought a little booklet in the supermarket checkout promising weight loss. She and I would do it together, with the hopes of slimming me down before the start of school. The first day was a total fast from all solid food. That's tough for a 12-year old but I did it. At the end of the day my mother rewarded me with a milkshake. The next few days were nothing but cottage cheese, Melba toast and grapefruit. I don't remember if I lost weight on this diet, but I do remember fasting, the milkshake reward and the ensuing days of "diet" food. Thus, began my long love-hate with diets and food.

It's no fault of my mother's. She was doing what she had learned from television, magazines and diet books. Everyday we're all bombarded with mixed messages of decadent food followed by weight-loss advice. Don't believe me? Just check out any women's magazine. It's enough to make one's head spin, and it doesn't actually do any good for losing weight long term.

That's why I finally gave up dieting and got rid of all my diet books. But dieting thoughts insidiously are still jumping into my brain. Earlier this week I decided to limit carbs and count my total carb intake. That's a diet. Then I thought that I should go back to Weight Watchers. That's a diet. I shook loose those ideas and didn't act on them, but it was hard.

Eating right and exercising are the long-term keys to success. I just have to keep reminding myself. Do you?

Mental Toughness

2011-01-13T11:36:00.000-05:00

As I get back into healthy eating and regular exercise, I'm learning a lot about mental toughness.

Yesterday my training plan called for 1-2 mile run. My schedule wouldn't allow me to get to the gym and walk on the treadmill, so I was stuck with walking outside. It was 19 degrees and snowing outside. I didn't want to do it. I nearly talked myself out of doing it. But I took a deep breath, psyched myself up and then bundled up and headed outside on my lunch break. It was miserably cold and the roads were slippery with patches of ice, but I did it. And in doing so, I developed some mental toughness. I imagine it will come in mighty handy later this year as I stand at the starting line of the half-marathon!

Boxing

2011-01-11T20:29:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm having so much fun with my trainer. Who knew working out could be a combination of a challenge and play all mixed into one?!

We've been working on boxing moves and tonight I got to put on a pair of gloves and work on a real bag. It felt amazing! It was tough but rewarding. As I pounded away, practicing jabs, hooks and upper cuts, Tracy the Trainer suggested that I imagine a face on the bag of someone I wanted to hit. I laughed and said I wasn't mad at anyone today. So we decided to imagine the scale in front of me and that I was pounding down the numbers. Now that was satisfying!

It was especially satisfying because I works so hard last week and didn't lose a signle ounce! But I won't let this little plateau get me down. I'm going to box that scale into submission, just you wait and see!

Last Year's New Shoes

2011-01-10T07:12:00.000-05:00

I recently bought new running shoes. It's always a process to get the right fit. I tried on several pairs before settling on New Balance, a brand I haven't worn before (I've been a Mizuno girl for years). They fit great. As I was preparing to check out, the owner of the store mentioned that they are last year's model. He needed to clear space on his shelf for the new styles coming out and offered them to me for $50. Whoa. What a deal!

So the next time you are shopping for new running shoes, inquire about last year's models and see if you can get a bargain, too.

A Sumo-Sized Lesson

2011-01-07T07:05:00.002-05:00

While flipping channels the other night, I happened across a National Geographic Channel special on obesity. Most of the information wasn't new to me, until the reporter turned to the topic of sumo wrestlers, the famed oversized Japanese athletes. Make no mistake: these guys are athletes with grueling workout and competition schedules. But they are indeed oversized and they get that way on purpose.

To gain bulk, sumo wrestlers follow a prescribed regimine. They do not eat breakfast. They eat a tremendous amount of carbohydrates (white rice, noodles and beer). And they nap after eating so the calories can be stored as fat.

Doesn't sound so different than the way many of us have unintentionally gained weight. It was an eye-opening, sumo-sized lesson.

A Shift in Perspective

2011-01-06T07:11:00.002-05:00

Like many people who struggle with obesity, I have sleep apnea. This is a sleep disorder in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts. The result is chronic tiredness, obviously, but the problem can also lead to bigger problems like heart attacks, strokes, high blood pressure and diabetes. It’s common in overweight people, but isn’t limited to them. I know several very thin people who struggle with this problem.

The treatment is usually a breathing device called a CPAP that is worn while sleeping. The machine forces pressurized air into the breathing ways, keeping the throat from collapsing and stopping breathing. That’s all good, but the device is unsightly and uncomfortable. Not a joy to wear. So, I’m practicing a shift in perspective. Each night when I put on my CPAP before sleep, I’m telling myself that it is a high-tech training gadget that will dramatically enhance my sleep, allowing my muscles to heal and get stronger as I train for the half-marathon.

It seems to be working. I’m wearing my CPAP more often for longer amounts of time. And I’m better rested, which, no surprise, is indeed enhancing my training. All it took was a little shift in perspective.

Good Calories, Bad Calories

2011-01-05T08:14:00.000-05:00

After yesterday's rant again diet books, I have to admit that I have yet to return one to the library: the 640-page tome "Good Calories, Bad Calories: Fats, Carbs, and the Controversial Science of Diet and Health" by the remarkable science writer Gary Taubes. This isn't so much a diet book as a work of investigative journalism, unearthing the assumptions made about why America is gaining weight. Taubes doesn't pull any punches -- nor does he water down the science. It's tough reading, but truly fascinating and is making me re-think all I know about carbohydrates.

As a vegetarian, the foundation of my diet is carbs, ironically, rather than vegetables. I think it's true for most vegetarians. I eat a lot of pasta, rice, bread, cereals and potatoes. True, they tend to be whole grains but Taubes is making me consider if this isn't part of my weight problem. And he may be on to something. I've had trouble ever since making carbs the base of meals. Even my observant father noted this.

So, as I'm shifting my diet, I'm shifting my carb consumption, too. I've reduced the amount of carbs I'm eating and I must admit that I feel better and the weight is coming off easier. I'm eating more vegetables and protein, too, which isn't a bad thing.

Check out Taubes' work. You might be equally surprised.

Liberation

2011-01-04T08:15:00.000-05:00

Perhaps, like me, you're prone to falling prey to dieting mentality. I check out diet books from the library. I leaf through weight-loss magazines at the book store. I buy stacks of books promising the next easy way to drop pounds.
No more.

I put the magazines in the recycling bin, returned the library books and sold my books at the used bookstore. It's been wildly liberating!

I don't need to read any more advice. I know what to do (and I bet you do, too!). Eat moderate amounts of real food -- vegetables, fruit, whole grains, nuts, beans and some low-fat dairy, an egg or a small piece of meat every once in a while -- and move off the couch.

Holistic dietician Maya Nahra said it best: "There's so much information out there about losing weight, especially losing it fast and easy, that we forget that weight loss comes down to calories."

Simple, really. So how many calories do we need? Everyone is different. I found out my target range here and you can, too. It's just one more way to liberate ourselves from the mental slavery of the diet industry.

A Little Help

2011-01-03T06:11:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we all need a little extra motivation to exercise. Or in my case, a lot of extra motivation. I do best with a race in front of me or being pushed by someone else. That's why I splurged and hired a trainer to beat on me for the next 10 weeks.

Actually, Tracy the Trainer, is a sweet, petite, enthusiastic fitness czar. She's pushing me beyond my comfort zone and I'm already surprised at how quickly my body is responding. My muscles are remembering what exercise feels like. My legs are eager to start running again. My breathing is less labored. My heart is pounding less. And best of all, I'm actually having fun. Tracy makes our twice-weekly sessions something I look forward to. Amazing!

Becoming a Runner Again

2011-01-02T11:46:00.002-05:00

In October 2008, I completed the Nike Women's Half-Marathon in San Francisco. It was the climax of my life as a beginning runner. Sure, I was slow, but I did it and loved every moment of becoming part of the running community. No feeling can describe meeting such a goal and I was certain that I had become a life-long runner.

Except I hadn't.

I don't know what happened after that race but I gave up running. It was if my brain couldn't compute that I had actually become a runner -- something I had wanted my entire life. I lost all my hard-earned fitness and gained nearly 100 pounds. It's been horrible. I would give anything to go back to the finish line of that half-marathon and tell myself to keep on running. But I can't.

So, I'm back at the starting line. Re-learning how to run. Working hard on building endurance. And as a motivation, I've signed up for another half-marathon this spring... because I want to be a runner again.

No More Excuses

2011-01-01T10:02:00.002-05:00

Last fall, my doctor gave me an ultimatium: lose weight and start exercising or face gastric by-pass surgery. Before I left his office, he scheduled my next appointment for three months later and gently admonished me to show progress by then.

It's no wonder he got serious with me. At age 38 I weigh nearly 400 pounds and suffer from a host of physical ailments. I'm on a pile of prescriptions and have basically no physical fitness. It's no way to live.

Oh sure, I've tried to lose weight in the past -- mostly with limited success. I've followed Weight Watchers, South Beach, The Zone, The Food Pyramid and met with a host of dieticians. They all worked for awhile until I got frustrated with confusing food formulas or the high price of products.

Well, no more excuses. In 2011, I'm going back to basics: eat less and move more. The plan isn't complicated or pricey: just exercise six days per week and watch my calorie intake. It's not fancy but it does work.